Is there something that has always been there and never changed? Maybe you have changed, and you are in a different place in your life, but that one part remains. I do.
For as long as I can remember I have never been organized, never kept my room neat, ever.
When I lived on my own there was no cleaning, until company was coming or I had no more dishes to use and had to wash some. Now imagine how that translated into marriage. Then add children into the mix. How was I never able to get a grip on this skill? How has it evaded me all these years? Why is house work my nemesis?
Oh I've heard it all from, just do it, to writing out lists and schedules. Flylady worked for me for about a month I think. I've tried to get back on the fly wagon, it usually lasts about a day.
In other areas of my life I've changed, moved on, but this one gets me. I'm stuck. It's not that I can't clean, I have, but that's it when I HAVE to.
I know this probably doesn't make sense to my "born organized" friends. Some of my friends are nice and make sweet excuses for me, "You have 5 children!". "You are very busy!" Yes, yes, you are all sweet and I love your nonjudgmental love. But I know the truth, I know that I could do better. I know that I could BE BETTER. So what's with NOT being better, what is that? Am I too nice to myself, allowing myself the excuse to "not feel like it right now"? Is it something deeper that needs to be worked out?
Often over the years I have prayed for help. Begging God to make me good at this. Asking for the desire to get it done. Now I have begun to pray again. Asking God to reveal to me what it is that holds me back. Giving me His motivation to WANT TO do the cleaning, His knowledge to know HOW and WHERE to start.
2 weeks ago an amazing thing happened. For 3 days I had no dishwasher. I had to wash all the dishes by hand. Since my children are
Anyways back to my story of the amazing thing that happened to me. There is something truly magical in hot, soapy water. It makes you want to wash everything. So I did, all the appliances small and big. All the cupboards (on the outside it's not THAT miraculous!). All the counters, and walls (above the counter again not THAT miraculous).
By the time I was done the dishes my kitchen was sparkly, and I didn't even give it a second thought. I was in awe, and a little fearful that I had left and someone else had moved in (just kidding).
I kept it nice and sparkly clean for 3 DAYS!!! Then I got a cold and hubby fixed the dishwasher and here I sit in the mess again.
I don't have a cold anymore. Maybe I should make some soapy, hot water and stick my hands in it. Maybe something might happen, and if not then I guess I'll just give myself a manicure.