Friday, July 30, 2010

What Happened to the Plan??

  You may or may not know that we had a plan.  It was not a bad one.  It was doable.  But somewhere along the way it disappeared.  Where?  I do not know.  I can't say I'm really disappointed.  Actually I don't think I really care, isn't that funny.  It was my plan to begin with so maybe I feel I have creative rights to alter or chuck it completely!
  Our plan was to school through the summer, and apart from Bradon's odd Math lesson, we haven't at all. 
  Now that July is over, I'm kinda thinkin' there's no reason to try.  We'll just pick it up again in Sept. 
  I have tried to get us in sync with regular school start and stop times.  I've never been really successful at it.  We usually just start and stop when we need to.  Which means that although my children are learning and growing we may not be in the same "grade" other kids are.  2 of my kids are at least a grade ahead if not 2.  And the other 2 are a grade behind, in some areas 2!
 I have felt the pressure to "measure" and push my kids or hold them back.  More and more though I care less and less.  And I hope that I can finally stop thinking about where they are "suppose" to be and just let them "BE". 
   After all it's not like we not doing anything, well currently we are, but you know what I mean.  We are free to move at our own pace and learn things more thoroughly.  I think they will benefit far more from that, rather then rushing through to get it done.
  Thanks for listening;)  I'm just here to ramble at you!

Thursday, July 22, 2010


    Not serious changes, just bloggy ones.  I loved my palm tree background and my Waikiki Beach sunset photo by Josh.  Today I received a message from "Cutest little blog" where I got my background from, saying that as of tomorrow my palm trees would be no more.  So sad. 
  So I checked out Bloggers new design stuff.  I really, really wanted to use my Waikiki Beach sunset as my background, but I couldn't see any options for doing so.   I picked a background of a beach, kind of at sunset or sunrise, I'm not sure.   And my other favorite picture, of my gorgeous kids!  Sorry if that not good edicate but I really do think they are gorgeous so I'm just tellin' ya!
   How do you like the new set up?

Friday, July 16, 2010

100th Post!!

  This is my 100th post!   I was thinking it should be something great.  I've been sitting on it for a week, maybe longer and I just can't think of anything.
   I thought I could tell you all of my birth stories, wouldn't that be fun? :)
   Or rant about the oil spill in the Gulf, like everyone else.
   Maybe I could tell you all the things I love and that inspire me, that might be to long.
  I could write out my parenting philosophy for you.  I could share my struggles and victories.  There are so many great things to choose from.
   Like how I taught my kids to read.  When is the best time to start math?  Things of that sort.
  The most important thing in my life is Jesus.  Because of His sacrifice I can know and be known by God.  Because of Him I can come to the throne of my Heavenly Father I can have His Grace, His Peace, His Love.  Because of those things I can live this life that is full of blessings, pain, laughter, love, toil and trouble.  Because I can, because of Him, I am and I will be.  He was, He is and always He forgives, He lives.  
I would not want to walk through this wilderness without Him holding my hand:)
I think that I said it all right there.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Anxiety Beast

  I never really considered myself an anxious person.  I'm pretty easy going.  I don't get my feathers ruffled to often. 
  The Lord has been showing me some things lately, about myself and how I am.  
    I have come to the realization that anxiety is a sneaky thing.  Sneaky because it starts off small and unnoticed, and if it is allowed to grow unchecked quickly becomes a beast.  I am also noticing the large amount of sickness that are related to this thing called anxiety or stress.  The physical effect it has on our bodies.   
  Anxiety is rooted in fear.  Fear of....whatever it might be causes us to worry about whats going to happen.  I believe and this is just my "Lolly Theology that first of all obvious fear causes worry, but secondly that fear is rooted in believing a lie.  A lie about God, your self or others or a situation."  If you are not sure where a fear comes from ask God to show you where it starts, it starts in our mind related to some thought or experience. 
  The Bible talks about being anxious, mostly about not being anxious.   Matt. 6: 34 "So do anxious about tomorrow"   Mark 13:11 "do not be anxious beforehand about what you will say"  Luke 12:22 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious" 
   It's really easy to say, "Don't be anxious" or even "Being anxious is a sin."  There can be a spirit of fear or anxiety that needs to be removed first.  Even then you will still need to retrain your brain.
  These thought patterns are so ingrained in us that we miss them.  Well I do!  I have to really be paying attention to what I'm thinking about.  Then I realize, "Hey that's worrying! What am I doing that for!" 
  I don't have victory every day.  Some days I miss the mark, sometimes I'm not even aiming!  I'm just trying to get through a day full of kids and a toddler!  God knows all this, and He is there in every moment.  He is not condemning me when I forget, or mess up.   He's encouraging me to try again.  To realize that I can't depend upon myself I must depend on Him.
  When I recognize a thought or feeling(that is related to what I'm thinking;) If I can break it down like...ok this is worrying.  I'm worried about what some else is thinking or worrying about what I'm going to say or whatever.  I rebuke those thoughts in Jesus Name.  Take them captive to the obedience of Christ(2 Cor. 10:5)  Actually 10:3-5 read that:)
  Now that we've done all that, now what?  Do you think that we are done?  Well I can tell you that even after I have done all this, and prayed all that I know to pray eventually the enemy of my soul will try to regain the ground.  And by eventually I don't mean tomorrow, sometimes it's right now.
  My Father in law told me something wonderful.  He first told me 10yrs ago and I've never forgotten.  But he reminded me last week.  Once we are finished our battle it's important to lay down our weapons and praise our King.  God is always watching your back you need not worry:)  Plus as soon as you open your mouth and sing the praises to our God the enemy will flee.
   So my fellow warriors, once you have slain the beast, sing praise to your King.  Put on praise music in the house, sing, shout! Make a joyful noise to the Lord.  And when those thoughts try to creep back in send them back to the pit where they came from!  And sing again!!
Love in Christ your sister
My goal is not to be perfect and just so you know I won't be, so don't expect it:)   My goal is to continue on in the race that is set before me. (Hebrews 12:1)

This is not meant to belittle or simplify serious Anxiety disorders.  Sometimes we need extra help, don't be afraid to get help, being afraid is part of the trap that keeps you locked up.  There is freedom in Christ, but we may need someone to help walk us through:)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A stollen moment

I had to get out my camera
when I saw these two sitting in the doorway.
Super cute.

They sat there quietly,
With some small chatter
Which was mostly Madi babbles
And Bevan saying "Ya"

Monday, July 5, 2010


Just a quick note to let you know Blogger finally fixed my blog problem!
So as soon as Josh is off to work and the children are happily playing or sleeping, I will be blogging!