Blank Pages and Time

  I love blank pages.  Never been marred by pen or pencil.  Open to all the possibilities. 
  I especially enjoy looking at blank calendar pages.  For the time that it's blank it means I don't HAVE to do anything.  I like that thought. 
   It never stays that way.  I always have to write some one's lessons in, or remind myself of some appointment. 
     'Cause we all know that if it isn't on the calendar it isn't happening.
   Funny,  I'm always a little sad to turn the page, as much as I love that fresh new page. 
   I know that I have to write on it, or those $70 violin lessons will go to waste. We won't show up for swimming lessons because no one remembered, we'll miss those free skating days, and who wants to miss the free things!
   Turning the page means no more going back.  That month, that year is gone.  How many moments passed me by?  Did I tell my children I love them enough?  Did I show it?
   That time is gone and never to return.  It's a death of a thing, time.  We only get so much.  If we don't spend it wisely we waste it.  Regardless of how we use it we run out, always.
  Time waits for no one.  It has no favorites and cares not for our need of more.  Time can not be saved or borrowed.  It is here for the moment and gone.  Moving on, forward marching, whether we are dragging behind, in-step or trying stay ahead.
  Learning to be here, right now in this moment.  Why is that so hard?  It is the only time we really have, right now.  Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not come.  How do I just be here, and understand it's the only place I can really be?
  

Many Christmas'

      We had a lovely little Christmas with Josh before he went to work.  Rather than make the kids wait until the 28th or 29th, we had an early Christmas.  Of course this means the kids will participate in 3 Christmas' this year.  One with Mom and Dad, one with Grandma, and one with Oma and Papa.
    It is kind of nice to spread it out.  Then it's not all over in one day.
    I don't think I'm cooking a turkey this year.  We started a new Christmas meal tradition a couple of years ago, prime rib roast.  It started after a Thanksgiving of too much turkey.  I couldn't even look at another turkey!   The prime rib has turned out scrumptious the last two years.  Hoping for another one this year.
     I would post some pictures, but I can't seem to find the right camera cord.  All these wires and cords and not one that works:(
    I'm looking forward to just relaxing these next few days.  No where to go and nothing to do is nice.
    

How It's Been

     It's been awhile since I was on here.  Better write something!
Our Jesse Tree hasn't been quite as consistent as I'd like it to be.  I would prefer to do it everyday, but it just isn't happening.  My fault. 
     I'm tired, and hibernating.  Actually I'm making myself go to the Church dinner tonight.  It wasn't to hard to convince me since my first thought was, "Then I won't have to cook dinner at home."  I do feel a little guilty that I'm not bringing anything.  I will check and see if my good friend MJ wants me to grab anything on my way up.
    My house is a somewhat scattered mess.  I have no motivation to care at the moment.  The kids are all playing with friends, except Madi.  I am keeping her entertained with a video.  I know not really a great thing to do with a three year old, but it is what it is for now.
    I went to bed at 11pm and slept until 8am, well I stayed in bed till 8, not sure how much of the night I actually spend sleeping.  The cat was outside so that was one less thing to wake me up.  It was mostly bathroom breaks and sore hips.
   I'm only at the 22 week (23 tomorrow) mark, I'm thinking it's a little early to have a sore hip!  Oh well.
   This little baby has gotten quite active which is fun.  It'll be fun to meet this little person.
   I have some Christmas shopping done.  Just about half I think. 
  

Christmas Thinking and Baby Stuff

    While looking and searching for Christmas gifts my mind keeps wandering to baby gear.
    I saw online a great double stroller awhile back.  Now I can't find it. 
    Not sure if we should get an Ergo this time or just stick to the wraps.
   My name dilemma was solved.  We've had a boy name for the last three girls.  I finally get to use it!
   Trying to think of stuff to do "for me" as my Dr. instructed. 
   Trying not to be busy and just relax, which isn't too hard with how tired I am.  Although I do see a lot of "stuff" I want to get done before Christmas.  A little frustrated with the lack of energy.  If I had more, maybe I could do more.
   Madi's room needs to be tackled, and she needs to move from the crib to a big girl bed.  It's getting more difficult to lift her in and out. 
   I'm really simplifying the decorations this year.  Our tree will be our Jesse tree, adorned with our Jesse ornaments, paper snowflakes, white lights and a single white ribbon. 
  I would like to have some candles around.  I have lots of candles but lack the pretty/simple candle holders. 
  Wondering how much my budget for Christmas will be. 

The Name Game

  There comes a time in the anticipation of baby that you play the "name game".  Very rarely do Josh and I ever agree on a name.  Maybe we do for a little while, then someone comes back and you know that feeling, "I just don't know".
  We had thought that if we have another girl we'd like to give her a Hawaiian name.  We love Hawaii after all.  It just so happens that our favorite Dr. who delivered 4 out of the 5 we have has a Hawaiian name.  
   Leilani.  We thought for the longest time that Leilani would be her first name.  But now we're not so sure, for sure her middle name.
  What goes with Leilani??
Got any suggestions?
We have a boys name.  That one's not a problem, we've had it for the last three girls!
  If you care to share some girls names, that you don't mind me using:)  Please do!!

Highschool

  I knew that teaching Highschool would be a challenge.  What I didn't realize is where the challenge would lie. 
   I thought it would be more along the lines of curriculum issues.  Was I going to be able to teach the skills needed to do the work?  I was so encouraged by Bradon's teacher, and there is a multitude of resources to help where skill sets are concerned.
  Nope the challenge is, and I guess always was with the student.  Not that the skills are not attained.  Not that work is misunderstood.  It's the actual "get your self down to work" part.  That's the challenge.  How do I get this young person to complete the task at hand?  There are no amount of incentives or punishments that motivate.  I've even resorted to yelling at moments in my frustration, which get us no where.
   Then miracles! I've seen progress! He's actually finished this report, and it's great.  I make some corrections, fixing run on sentences, spelling mistakes, giving suggestions on using new words.  Now suddenly he wants to rewrite the whole thing differently.  He does not want to make the corrections I gave, he'd like to start again with the same subject but different angle. 
   I gave him a deadline of having the good copy in by tomorrow.  I can not see how he has time to rewrite a report that took him two weeks  (or longer) to complete.  
   Why does he want to do that?  Is it because he doesn't like me correcting it?  It's not like that's anything new, I always correct his work.  Is it a form of perfectionism?  I'm confused. 
   This is the first time he will be handing in his work to someone else.  Is that it?  I don't get it.
   

Love Creative People Who Invent Useful Things!

  3 years ago when baby #5 was born I discovered a whole lot of new baby and mom things that had been invented since the fourth baby. 
   I love all the useful new things, and so glad that some Mom invented it, and shared it!
   I found a new one today! 
   I've used the Bella Band to help with modesty in nursing, and have found it sometimes lacking. 
  Now there is Modest Middles.  A tank top that is super low, the top sits under your bra (you wear it under your shirt) so you can easily pull up your shirt and nurse your baby without showing your back, side and belly!
  NICE!
You can visit Life in a Shoe to see her giveaway!
This is for sure on my list of baby gear for this baby!