Thursday, May 26, 2011

I am learning.

   I am learning to listen.  Listen to the Spirit whispering to me.  Listen to the heart of God.  Being still and waiting does not come natural to me. 
 My Father however is teaching me that what I think is my personality is in fact not..  He is teaching me that I must let it go, let Him take them off.  These parts I think are unchangeable.  To change my mind, He does that, I'm not really good at that either.  Change me to think that maybe I've been wrong all these years.  To claim a song and call it mine, and that's just the way I am.  Nope, not anymore, for if I am dead and He lives, what is mine?  Nothing.  I can cling to nothing, claim to nothing but Christ.
   Of course at any given moment of the day I forget this simple thought, that it is no long I who live but Christ who lives in me.  I think only of my goal in getting something done, or avoiding that which I know needs doing.
   For me I am learning to answer when He calls, to seek Him in each moment, in each task.  To ask for His help in things I should be able to do myself, but can't.  Or don't know how, or have just been doing wrong for so long I can't see up from in. 
  He is there, in it all, holding my hand.  Speaking peace in my heart.  Heart Peace. 
  I like what I read today from Ann Voskamp's blog "Will I ever be who I already am in Christ?"
It's a question I didn't know I was often asking.  Will I ever be who I already am in Christ?  I have faith in Christ that He will accomplish what He wants to in me.  I'm going to blow it, no doubt.  But He'll be there. And I'll repent.  I'm learning.

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