Shred it!

  Some of you know I've been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.  It has definitely taken me longer than 30 days.  In the beginning there was no way I could do 2 consecutive days because my muscles were so sore! 
  I haven't lost tons of weight.  8lbs so far and I'm on the 6th day of Level 3.  I'm not too concerned about what I haven't lost, but I'm totally psyched about what I've gained! 
   I am stronger!  I can do more than I could before.  Going up and down the stairs is a breeze now.  Loading wood in the fire not as hard (still don't like doing it but I actually can now). 
  When I think about how weak I was it's kind of scary.  I'm not done yet I still have a ways to go.  Level 3 is still kicking my butt pretty good.  I know my cardiovascular system thanks me.  
   I've also lost inches too.  How much exactly I don't know.  I never did measure, but I started at a size 12 and now my size 10s are getting lose and baggy.   Maybe soon I'll get into those old size 8s I have kicking around in the closet.
   I never use to like working out, but now I look forward to it. 
  It's good to sweat!
And now I have good stabilizing muscles to wear my 5" Steve Madden high heels;)

Wee Bit of Me Wednesday

Following my friend cause I can't think of anything to write.

{one} If you were granted three wishes what would they be?
  Hmmm...to live somewhere like Hawaii...that housework would be easy and enjoyable...and I'm gonna leave the last one open for emergencies;)

{two} Who is your favorite author?
   I would have to say John Bunyan first.  I can't think of any authors only good books.  My all time favorite the one I read over and over is the Bible so favorite all time author, God:)

{three} What crowd were you involved in during high school?
   I was in the Church crowd. 

{four} What is your favorite thing to do when you have time to yourself?
   When I have time I like to sew, cross-stitch and scrapbook.  While I do these things I like to watch movies.

{five} Do you have any hidden talents?
  I really don't think so and if I do they must be really, really hidden!

{six} Can you fake any accents?
   yes, but only with Josh, I'd never do it in front of anyone else

{seven} Have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper?
    I grew up in a small town so yep I've been in the newspaper a few times.  

{eight}  Have you ever been arrested?
    Never been arrested, but I did take a ride in the back of a cop car!

{nine} What is your favorite job you've had?
   Being a Mom, it's a had thankless job, but so far it's still my favorite. 

{ten} Do you have any scars?
   Emotional or physical??  I have both:)
On my knee I have this weird scar of lines and dots from when I stopped my bike with my knee.
And lots of stretch marks, my battle scars:)

Josh has way more scars than me, from chains saws and stuff, but the coolest one I want to tell you about is a body surfing scar from Hawaii.  It looks exactly like the number 17!
(just a little scar trivia for ya;) 

Mistake #1

 Word of advice....be careful where you get your sewing instructions. 
   Following duvet making instructions from a miscellaneous site, I bought the listed amount of material for the proper bedding sizes.  Unfortunately there was no where on those instructions that told me this would only cover the front!
   I thought at the time, "This is a lot of material!".  Not once did I think it wouldn't be enough. 
   While I only need a 15 x 84 inch piece for the Twin Cover, I'll need another 5 1/2 yards for the Double.  NUTS!
  I am beginning to think it would have been cheaper and easy to buy covers.  I would have, but the ones I liked were at least $100, the cheaper ones where not as pretty.  I have beautiful material, the kids are going to love it.  If it gets done!
  I've spent $189 on 3 duvet covers so far, how much more will I need to spend?? 
 
   I am currently undoing 1/4 of the stitching I did late last night.
  
   Mistake #2 Sewing while tired = miss calculations in measurements.  OOPS! 

The "Getter Done" List

The plan for this week, along with all our regular daily tasks:
 ~ Detailed Cleaning of the Kitchen, Dining Room, Living Room and Entrances in preparation for decoration.
 ~ Shopping with the children so they can buy gifts.
 ~ Shopping without the children so I can buy gifts.
 ~ Baking Cookies with enough to freeze and last us through the holidays.  (maybe) (That's maybe last not bake.)
 ~ Decorate the house for Christmas.
 ~ Make all gifts that need to be made.
That last one I am starting right now.  I am off to sew Duvet covers, catch ya later when I'll let you know how the "list" is going.

Love/Hate Relationship.

  I believe I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas, and winter.  
  I love Christmas for the fact I get to visit my family that I haven't seen most of the year or at least since summer.  I hate that the roads are yucky and sometimes scary this time of year and my beloved family is traveling on them.
  I love giving gifts to people.   I hate that gifts often take away from the real reason why we are celebrating in the first place.  If I had it my way there would be no presents on Christmas, the big spending and hoopla would be on your Birthday!!
  I love all the good food, and baked goods.  I hate that how I feel when I eat to much of the yummy, yummy food!!
  I hate being cold, I hate keeping the fire going (which reminds me I need to run and put wood in the furnace!).
  I love how quiet it gets outside at night when everything is covered in white.  It looks so beautiful that I forget that it's cold out and I just stand and stare.  The stars are even brighter and time disappears.
  I love that the kids have so much fun out there, building snow forts and snowmen.  I hate that 3 out of 4 of them never seem to remember to knock the snow off outside or hang up wet stuff! GRRRR!   But they do play nicely (mostly) for hours. 
  I hate that the kids are always thinking about what they want, well the younger ones anyway.  I haven't heard much about it from the older two.   I love that they are old enough to shop for and think about, what the person they are buying for would like.
   I hate that the stores are crowded with people.  It makes grocery shopping a pain.  I love that Ten Thousand Villages is open this weekend and so is the Farmers Market fair. 
  
   I am thankful for the true meaning of Christmas, above all the hoopla (my new word of the day).   
That true meaning being the Creator of Heaven and Earth gave His only Son to pay the way for us to be reconciled to Him.  Christmas celebrates His birth, but really it's about the Cross.  And I can't leave it there, cause He didn't stay on the Cross, no He didn't.  He rose up from the dead to sit at the right hand of God, preparing a place for those who will follow Him.  That is what Christmas is truly for, to remember what He gave, and remember why we're here. 

Sittin' in the Rain, Water on Your Brain, Got a Hole in Your Boat

  That's  how I feel when I'm sick.  Do you remember that song?  I think it was a Michael W. Smith? (Wow I totally drew a blank on his name!) 
 
"Sittin' in the rain,
water on your brain,
gotta hole in your boat. 
Tryin to stay afloat,
has got you down. 

I’ve got a wind in my sail
Rubber boots and a pail
I’ll throw you a line
Rest assured that i
Won’t ever let you drown


Chorus:
’cause when you’re up against the wall
You know I’ll be here for you, for you
When you rise and when you fall
I’ll always be here for you, for you


When the plans you make
Fall through and take you
For a loop
Or some bird has flown the coop
And left you stranded
Just lean on me
And together you see
We’ll carry the load
Even if we don’t
Quite understand it



     I'm not really sinking, just feeling sorry for myself.  When I'm under the weather and not myself all the things I wanted to get done and can't bother me.  Like grocery shopping, my workout, lesson planning.  I just don't have the energy and I can't see through the cobwebs in my brain. 
      We're in survival mode here.  I make waffles, toast and ichaban to keep the children fed.  They do the dishes and whatever school they can without me.  Then they play games and watch movies the rest of the time.  Don't worry they are supervised.  I counted there are 4 here!  Ok that means one is missing but I remembered that he went to Oma's:)


    Hope you all are avoiding the annoying coughs, colds and flus.  I am going to take more Vitamin C and drink some tea.

HOUSTON!! WE'VE GOT AN EGG!!

  Finally! One of my little chickens is earning her keep! Yesterday morning Bradon came in beaming with the first little egg in his hand.
  It's actually bigger than I expected.  I was thinking they'd be like robin's eggs.  They are a pretty good little size.

Here We Go 'Round the Cough, Cold, Flu Bush.

  A mulberry bush sounds like more fun then the circle we've been traveling the last few weeks.  Bad coughs, one puker, all day fever, runny noses.  I am hoping this cycle ends soon, I'm tired of keeping the sick ones locked up.  With sending out the healthy ones I'm still afraid we're infecting others, or bringing in more germs! 
   I am however thankful that it is more annoying than it is really ugly.  We are not doing that badly, we're doing pretty good all things considered.  The baby toddler is not throwing up.  Only the oldest one did, he handled it well, I didn't even know about it until the morning (poor guy).   All those in between had their turn with a runny nose and 2 with coughs.  So over all we're good!
   There was that one year....well lets not go there again (shudder).
  I was feeling pretty queasy myself, so I've been downing the silver water, vitamin C and acidophilus.  I felt good enough to do my workout!
  

What do I want?

  I have a pretty good idea of what getting for others.  Well the kids mostly.  Adults are a little harder.  Especially the none picky ones.  Which means yes they are easy to please, but I want to try harder to make in meaningful, that takes more brain steam. 
   I know what I want Josh to get me, well a few things, he can pick one!

First of all I've always wanted a fondue set.

       A Kitchen Aid pasta maker attachment would be nice.

              I would love to have the Canon Rebel camera or a Nikon.
Or let me go clothes shopping!  That would be nice too:)

Really though these are things that I can accumulate over time and don't really need for any reason. 

Now I will go write a post about how Christmas is not about getting or giving, it's about Christ.  'Cause now I'm feeling guilty.

Workout

   I don't like working out.  It's boring and well hard work.  
 I would much rather be drinking Lattes at Starbucks!
   But there comes a time in a girls life when things just aren't as they were.  When she (me) realizes that it's not going to get better unless I apply a good effort.  And regardless of how comfy it is in the sand I must pop my head out long enough to see that I'm only 16 yrs to the age my Dad died.  
   His death could have been avoided by a healthy lifestyle. 

So I feel the need to get healthy. 
I started a workout video called 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels.  It is done in 3 levels.
Level 1 isn't so hard that you have to be super coordinated.  I could manage all the low impact moves.  But boy was I huffing and puffing!  My cardiovascular system is baaaaad!
I had a hard time recovering after, catching my breath!!
After 5 or 6 workouts though it became easier.  By the 7th or 8th I could do more of the higher impacted moves.
  You are suppose to do 10 days of level 1 but, I  did 12.  I wanted to have the level 1 a bit better before I moved on.
  Level 2 is a lot harder than the first.   I've done Level 2 seven times now.  I still can't do the higher impact.
   I also read Jillian's book about Mastering your Metabolism.  It was a lot about hormones and how the food we eat and our lifestyles effect them.  Some really good info.
  Here's what I've been doing.
I eat some protein and healthy carbs, and healthy fats at Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and a snack.  I do not eat again after my last meal or at least make sure I don't eat after 9pm.  I try to get to bed by 10:30/11:00.   I try to work out every day.  The work outs are circuit style and 20mins each.  The most I've gone without working out is 2 days. 
  I've done a totally of 19 workouts.  I've lost 5lbs.  I feel stronger, I have more energy and my clothes are much looser fitting.  I haven't taken measurements.  Maybe I should have.  Really I just want to feel better and have more energy!  And it's working:)

A Few Interesting Things

  I have found a few interesting things. 
One is this site that you can buy brand name things at discount prices.  Actually a friend on FB posted it and I have checked everyday since, but not bought anything yet!
http://www.beyondtherack.com/member/signin/event-calendar

I was looking for Christmas gift ideas for my older nephews and I found this.
http://www.giftbee.com/for/gift_ideas_for_12_year_old.php   There are tons of ideas for all ages on Giftbee!

This looks like an awesome Advent idea for the family, http://www.familymanweb.com/store/advent-craft-kit
plus I really like the family man guy, Todd, he has great homeschooling articles on The Old Schoolhouse newsletter.
http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=v8kuxxbab&v=001oa6YnRfZhAX2h1HqcF0e00VlCNQ9u9EUbMNyq5XwCRsfv29zDgoyV7Iznuy4qW945QSn5Q8Rs7QeHWYVHbMSjVaQli9CaiLUCaSJqGhh8FD0NLQHM-KYPgY9s3ERC0J5f_6f53Fa4hMf7VTbwpLZvrAALWlk9PDTGgii4Nyw1hcNKEerygKoRnuKlmdoATtUE8WNipXwW5QLyUYZjTT1tMBEUEl4WPPhMVGtWtnsrl0%3D
Sorry that's a huge link.  It's the Old Schoolhouse Minute if you need to google it. 
Well the house is falling apart around me I better get it back in gear!
We're getting our cars ready for the races tomorrow! Should be fun!

The Christmas List

(I couldn't remember if we had a tree up last year, but look we did!)

   What do you do first?  Do you plan your decorations, get out your ornaments, clean?   Do you write your food menus and grocery lists?  Write a list of all the gifts to buy?
    I wish I was that organized.  If I ever am, which I'm not, I usually get a list of gift ideas written down.  Whether or not that's what I actually do depends on my mood at the store.  If I see something better I'll switch, if I think I can make it, then I switch.
    This year I think I'll be doing a lot of online shopping.  I may check out the local toy store and see if anything catches my eye.  I will be avoiding Wal-Mart this holiday season. 
   For my own kids I plan on making Duvet Covers.  The one that doesn't have a duvet will get one, and the one who doesn't like duvets (I know! crazy right!) will get a comforter set.  
    I haven't figured out Madi's gift yet, since I don't want to smoother her with a duvet in her crib, I'll have to come up with something else.
   I have a pretty good idea what I want to get the little nieces and nephews.  Just not sure about the big ones yet.
  
   I also have to plan a family picture.  Last year we had Ruth come and take pictures.  This year I think she's too busy with her beautiful new baby.
   Gotta think about that.....what to do??

I am thinking about food a little bit.  My new Brother-In-Law is a great cook I hear, so maybe I'll be getting him to do the Christmas cooking!

   There are also Christmas cookies on my brain.  Maybe I'll get the kids to do them all this year.  It might be fun for them!

Christmas is coming fast, and I'm starting to feel the pressure, panic, well whatever it is!!

Hey Dad!

  Posting a picture from the 80's on facebook yesterday has got me thinking about my Pa.
  I remember the day, it's forever etched in my mind.
  I had waved goodbye to Dad from the kitchen window about 5am Sunday morning.  I waved until I couldn't see his truck anymore, like I always did.  I went back to bed, later went to church.  
  Saturday night had been my first officially date with Josh.  He had taken me out to dinner at the Grand Trunk Restaurant. 
  Back to Sunday.  I think we went sledding that day.  I was up late hanging out with friends. 
  I slept in Monday morning and was awakened by a knocking on the door at 8am.  I was shocked to see a man in a suit and a police officier. 
  The coroner proceed to find out who I was and if my Dad was Charles Jeans.  He then told me there had been an accident and that my Dad had passed away. 
  You never really know how you will react in these situations, well I don't anyway.  I felt my knees giving way underneath me so I sat down on the step.  It wasn't really sinking in.  They wanted to send one of their counsellors over, which I didn't want.  They wouldn't leave until I called someone to come and be with me.  You see my Mom and sister were 3hrs away.  I had moved in with Dad, it was just me and him.
   I did meet some wonderful people the couple of months before Dad's death.  Josh and his family being some of them.  You might be wondering why I didn't think of calling Josh, I knew he had worked a night shift and would be sleeping.
  I called a girl friend and she came with her Mom and Dad.  Before they arrived the officer and coroner left.  I was alone for a little bit.
  I calapsed on my bed and I felt the world crashing in on me.  I felt the Lord grip me by the shoulders and He whispered "Pray" in my ear.   The only words that I could get out were "Jesus help me".  That was more than enough.  I felt His love rushing in and I cried.  But it wasn't the despairing cry that had threatened to swallow me moments before.  I could cry for my loss and then I was able to get up and do what needed to be done. 
  I called another friend who was able to convince me that I needed to call my Mom.  I was afraid to call her at work.  That was really hard to do.  But thinking back it was probably harder for her knowing I was alone.  But I wasn't really alone Christ was carrying me. 
  My friend and her parents arrived, they prayed with me and for me. They kept me company.  My friend called Josh knowing that it was ok to wake him up. 
  Josh and Sheldon both came and stayed with me until my Mom and sister arrived. 
  The next week is kind of a blur.  I remember moments of it. 

Yesterday looking at Dad's picture I realize how much I still miss him.  I wish I had more pictures of him.  Some with close ups of his hands.  Close ups of his face.  There are details I feel I've forgotten.  He didn't have any tatoos, but he did have scars.  I've forgotten about the scars. 
  His left or right knee clicked everytime he took a step.  There was no way he could sneak up on us we could always hear his knee!  He always had great advice. 
   I miss our long converstations about life, God, people.  I miss his laugh.  
   
  If you've lost someone you'll know that there are people who tell you that they look down on you from Heaven.  I don't believe that, for my Dad that would be Hell.  To have watched us go through the pain of lossing him would have been hell to him.  To not be there for us in our tough times, yep that too.  So I am not comforted by hearing that.  I am more comforted by thinking that I may see him again one day in Heaven.   If you are comforted by thinking your loved ones are looking over you, please disregard my words.  They are for me.  What I have learned is that we all grieve in our own way.  That grief is multi-facited, there are many parts to the process, some of which surface years down the road.
   God has repaired and healed my broken heart.  My heart is full of the beautiful children and wonderful husband that God has given me.   
   I still will think of him, I still will miss him.  I've learned a lot about God through the pain.  I am thankful for that.  I wouldn't be who I am today without it.  I still wish he could have been here.  But I am now content and look forward to a reunion of epic prepotions in Heaven!  With not just my Dad but all my family who's gone on before me. 
  For more about my Dad go here.

I made this one large so you can see it.  My Dad in 1978.  I'm the 2yr old.

My Dad age 2 or 3.

Left my Dad is in the green shirt about age 19. Right my Dad About age 28-30

My Dad and Me 1976

My sister, Dad and Me. '88 or '89

Me and Dad my Grad '94

My Dad age 12.  And His Mom I think in '92?

TV shows I like!

  Because I'm bored and should be sleeping. Because I know I won't get time to blog tomorrow when the kids are up.  Because I just visited Starlit Home my friend in real life who is a blogger too, and I got this idea from her.  And well just because I can....Here's my list of shows I like to watch.

Covert Affairs.  A fun spy girl show.

Hawthorne. I like Jada Smith.

Parenthood.  Big family.

NCIS LA.  Who wouldn't want to watch LLcoolJ take down some bad guys!

Packed to the Rafters. Nother big Family.

In Plain Sight is about WITSEC.  She's a tough Marshal

Castle.  I really like Castle. Unlike other cop shows it doesn't creep me out.

Can't believe I almost forgot! CHUCK!!

Spy show, but not what you'd expect.

Eczema Update

  Here's an update for you.
Well Madi reacted to the Lanolin in the Lansinoh.  The eczema spread across her tummy and her neck, then down her back.  It was terrible.  I prayed and prayed.  It's funny how the Lord helps you remember.  I remembered that Bradon also reacted to Lanolin in the same way.  I remembered that we used a low steroid cream to get it under control and then Glaxal base keep it down.
   So I used this with Madi and it's under control again.  Thank you Lord!
  We are keeping up with the Glaxal Base, the Oatmeal baths and on red flare-ups we're using Cortef cream.

Wordless Wednesday

Unfinished things

  I am very intolerant of unfinished things.  This is one of my biggest pet peeves. 

    I really don't like going in the basement and only will if I absolutely have to.  Bare concrete and ceiling open to the floor boards above, yucky.  Not to mention the layer of concrete dust and drywall debris for previous renos.  Plus stashes of unused appliances and boxes of "things".  Not my cup of tea!

   It's funny how that dislike carries over into the rest of my house and the way I think and feel about it.  I have never been really good or diligent when it comes to house work.  Cleaning is for the birds I say.  It's one of those things that looks nice when done, but is never really done, cause you have to keep doing it.  I like puzzles.  When you are finished, you're finished, you don't have to do it ever again.  Unless you want to.

   My house (the parts that are finished) is nice.  It has nice colour (I dislike white walls).  It has character (there isn't another house like this one trust me). 
The first few times I walked through this house I got lost.  Not because it's big, but it has levels that confuse you. 

  It's amusing to me that something like being unfinished can bother me so much that I lack the motivation to finish it.  Well motivation I have, skill I have not, nor the muscle needed.  I find it amusing because I myself am not finished.  None of us are.  We continue on this race for Christ and we won't be "finished" until we're home, in heaven.

He is patient with me in my unfinished state and I must learn to be content in my circumstances.   And still get my work done, no excuses!
Umm well maybe after another coffee!

This is the same space as the picture above, only finished.

To stay nice though, it needs maintenance.  Cleaning, decluttering and sometimes replacing broken things.

Just like me. Only I get maintenance though God's word.  But hey some paint and polish doesn't hurt;)

  

The Great Road Trip!

 Our family holiday to Edmonton! 
I don't have a lot of pictures, I was to busy to take pictures! 

    We stayed at the River Cree Marriott, yes I know it's a Casino.  Beggars can't be choosers, we stayed using reward points.   It was beautiful like most Marriotts and I was delighted to find the Casino far away from the actual hotel entrance so I didn't have to march my children through a carnival. 
   We took them to a more family friendly carnival, Galaxy Land at the West Edmonton Mall.    No I did not ride the Roller Coaster this time.  Something about adrenalin not feeling quite the same after babies, feels more like PANIC!  
I did go on the Air Balloons, and nearly had a heart attack watching Madalyn trying to peek over the edge.  No worries people her Daddy had a good grip on her and after the ground crew applied the paddles to me and my heart started beating again I was fine too!
  I found out I really don't like going in circles and if I look up and turn to quickly I'm dizzy.  Do not like being dizzy!
  The kids had lots of fun.  It was really funny watching Josh on the Drop of Doom, I don't think he'll let his brother talk him into anything ever again!  Wish I'd had a picture of that, cause he's never looked like that before and probably never will again!
   It was so wonderful seeing my Sister and my new Brother-In-Law.  Boy my nephews are getting big, and the newest addition was so fun to cuddle.  Love that new baby smell!
   We had fun with Josh's Bro and my-sister-in law.  The 3 boys had fun gaming with their Dad's.  Not that I condone shooting your father, but it was just a game, and they did have fun.  And no real fathers were harmed during the time of our visit!
   I did go shopping, at the Children's Place Outlet!  I had a 30% off coupon thanks to my smart and thrifty Sis-in law, Woot! Woot!
   Madalyn did amazingly well for her first ever 12hr road trip!  Although it was the first time we ever heard her scream "No" at us like that. 
   We had a fun dinner and great catch-up time with my Girl BonBon!! What a sweet little family she has.  Well 3 kids isn't really a little family, but they seem so much quieter than us! :)
   I was so lucky to sneak a quick lunch in with my M girl and her youngest, gigantic children.  I say giant cause it's not fair that they are taller than me!
   The Telus Science World was really fun.   I especially liked the Forensic Lab and solving the dog-knapping!  Oh and the kids liked it too... I think.

In the Body Works Part of Science World

Madalyn's favorite was this tongue, she thought it was a slide

At the Crime Lab, at the top it says that but I goofed and cut it out

Our Military Training, this is the only picture I'm allowed to show you (jk)

Wee Bit of Me Wednesday

{one} what is your happiest childhood memory?


Our whole family at Old Mac Donald's farm, I was 6 or 7 I think.




{two} what is your middle name?


Heather


{three} what’s the habit you’re most proud of breaking?


Nail biting




{four} what do you order when you order chinese food?


Wonton soup and Combo #11! (Chicken chowmein, sweet and sour pork and deep fried prawns!)





{five} what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?


I have no idea!


{six} what’s the best costume you’ve ever worn?

My Mom's dress from the 60's it was purple and greenish yellow. The pattern was faces of vanhallen I think or some rocker from then.

{seven} who’s your favorite game show host?


Gotta be Bob Barker


{eight} what’s your favorite breakfast food?


Eggs Benedict, although it doesn't have to be for breakfast I'll eat it anytime!


{nine} what’s your least favorite word?


can't or ain't really get on my nerves. 


{ten} describe something that happened to you for which you have no explanation.


When I was 2 I was lost in a very large Mall.  My Mom searched all over the shop we were in, cause I was only gone a few seconds.  Then she ran through the mall thinking I was taken.  As she ran past The Bay on the other side of the mall she heard a lost child announcement.  Sure enough it was me, and I was playing happily with the toys.  Mom doesn't know how I got there so fast or how I wandered so far.










okay, your turn!

So Much To Be Thankful For

 Today 2 years ago a precious baby girl joined our family.  She came to us the usual way, with a bit more difficulty then some of her siblings.  My pregnancy with her was much the same way, usual with a bit more difficulty than the others.
  I will never forget July 20th 2008.  That was just the beginning it was the next day that was the hardest.  We flew quickly to Vancouver's Women's Hospital.  We sat under an ultra-sound for 3 hours.  We watched helpless as our little baby's heart skipped beats and jumped every few minutes into what the doctors call SVT (supraventricular tachycardia).  Her heart rate sometimes over 300 bpm. 
   There is lots that I remember feeling in those moments and the days that followed.  But what I remember most is how God met us at every turn.  He had gone there before us and was showing us how.
   I was not scared, I don't think I would call it anxious, maybe a form of anxiety I've never experienced before.  The only way I can explain it is that I had no peace.  I felt like the ground was gone, like I was loosing my grip.  Grip on what I hadn't decided. 
   I KNEW that God was there.  I didn't KNOW what He wanted us to do.  I was glad the Doctors decided not to take Madalyn.  By that I mean force her to be born at 29 weeks.
I worried about the toxic drugs they were going to give to me and my sweet growing baby. 
   We could refuse and go home and pretend everything was fine.  It would all be ok if I didn't take them...right?  That was a question I couldn't answer, and I felt God was silent on the subject.  He wasn't silent of course.  Josh was completely at peace, he KNEW that we would be ok.  He also KNEW I should take the medication.
  Of course I did take the medicine with strict instructions about each dose.  Sotalol is a beta-blocker.  It also has serious possible side-effects. 
   "What kind of side-effects?"  I ask.
   "Oh it could knock your heart out of rhythm" says Dr. #1.
   "But don't worry about that we'll just knock it back in"  Dr. #2
   Great how comforting! I think to myself.
   "What are we risking if we don't take the drugs, what can happen?"  me.
   "Baby could suffer heart failure and go into cardiac arrest."  Dr. #1
    "Your body could mirror her body and you could also suffer cardiac arrest."  Dr.#2
   The possible side effects of not taking toxic drugs, not acceptable.  So we take the drugs!!  And pray my heart stays in rhythm.
   It took me a few days to find peace.  The Lord's peace.  Heart peace.  It was the song by Casting Crowns, Praise You In the Storm that made me cry.  (A different cry then I'd already been doing those few days).   Then I KNEW what I should have all along.  I will Praise Him in this Storm. 
   It was a storm to me.  Things, and words were whirling all around me.  I couldn't tell if I was up or down.  Josh didn't understand me.  His words where,
  "Do you think that God has abandon us?  Cause He hasn't you know."
  "I know He hasn't."
  "I'm worried about you, I watched you go through your Dad's death and other babies, and you didn't react like this at all, this isn't like you?"  My poor husband.
   I didn't have an answer for him either.  I didn't feel like I was without God, I knew He was there.  He showed me in so many little ways.  Like my favorite coffee in decaf at the hospital cafeteria.  My parents were able to come see me.  The ultra sound tech was a Christian and she prayed with us.  The first medicine they tried worked and I only got the mildest of reactions to it.  This was an answer to pray because if this med didn't work it would be more toxic ones to try!
   It was my peace I could not find, not in the word, not in prayer.  But I did find it, in a song.  And the lights went on.  I can pray and pray and read and read.  These are all good and will not come up void, but if I do not praise Thee, I am missing an important piece.  The peace I had been longing for came raging like a flood, when I lifted up my heart and sang my Praises to the Lord.
  And today I am so thankful for my baby's 2nd Birthday.  She lives without SVT and is no longer at risk for SVT for over a year now! 
I am thankful for God's grace that is always there.  It is after all not about me, it's about Him.

Josh and I during our Hospital stay in July.

Sept. 21. 2008 Madi is born! Here she's almost a week.

One Year and No longer at risk for SVT!

Turned 2 today and was hiding around my legs, she wouldn't let me take her picture! Funny kid!

And still SVT free!

Close But No Cigar!

  Are you curious yet?  There were a couple of good guesses on my FB comments.
   Australia....I do want to go there and I have a girlfriend that lives there!!
  Israel....Close it is in the Mediterranean, and I would like to visit Israel too.
  Africa... not as much desire to go there.  Lions and Tigers and whatever else, I'd much rather visit at the zoo not up close and personal!  But still a beautiful Continent worth visiting!

Nope the place I am trying to convince Josh we need to go is....

THE GREEK ISLANDS  More specifically Santorini.  That's the one I really want to see, and then some other islands there too. 
Now it's deciding do we go and stay there, or do we go on cruise there??
You understand I am just dreaming, there is no REAL plans, maybe in 2013 I'll get to go there.
But I'm thinking if I start talking about it now then maybe, just maybe Josh will think he wants to go there too!
  Until then I will leaf through my travel books from the library and day dream about coffee on a Greek "Lanai".

Where Could it Be??

  About a year or so before my first trip to Hawaii I took out all the travel books from the library about those islands.

  Today I was at the library and took out all the travel books on a new destination.

  I thought it might be fun for you to guess where.  I'll come up with some kind of prize for the correct answer.  I can't promise you expensive, lavish gifts, but it'll be some token of thanks for knowing me so well:)
   I'll give you two hints....
First... I know someone who was born near there.
Second... I know two people who have visited there, but they do not know each other.

Hmmmmm.... Where could it be?

The A list

  Sometimes when I'm really busy, or just bored, I think of all the things I'd like to do.  So here's a list that I need to get out of my head, and maybe later I can do something about it;)

1. I want to sew!  I really want a nice little room where my sewing machine is set up and waiting for me.  I'd like all my sewing tools, fabrics and patterns in one neat little easy to reach area.  I want to sew aprons for me and the girls.  Oh ya and this room can have Natalie's sewing machine set up too and we can sew together! 'Sigh' the thought is blissful.

2. I want to start Madalyn's baby book.  I know "bad Mommy".  It's not that I haven't saved things or written stuff down, it's just in a drawer here or there, not in her book.  Which I did pay a hefty price for, it is still in the plastic wrap, in a drawer.

3. I want to get back into my Creative Memories.  I was almost caught up, now I'm sure I'm 3yrs behind again. 
"Sigh" (not the blissful kind the sad kind)

4. I want to play Settlers of Cattan.  I bought the game, but I've never played.

5. I wish I didn't care about the extra layer of fat I've accumulated since the last baby.  Or I wish I cared enough about it to actually use that treadmill, (it's in a drawer with the baby book).

After all the "I wants"  I think I need to say some stuff I'm thankful for. Get my brain in order!

I am thankful for....

....The 100++ lbs of organic potatoes in my basement.
....the 5 large bags of organic carrots that are with the potatoes.

....the sore muscle from extracting those organic yummies from the ground

....the fact that the whole family, we 6, Oma, Papa, Auntie M and Uncle J worked together to plant, weed and harvest thus said garden veggies:) (PS the ones in my basement are just our share of the garden loot so it was a good year!)

....my family, all of them, extended ones too

....my children, they bring out the best in me, and the worst.  But thank the Lord for that, if you never see it, you can't fix it.  Thank you my children for showing me my imperfections, and thank you Lord that you know what to do with them.

....Sunshine

....Rain..I know I don't like it much either but it is necessary, really it is.

....the wonderful, handsome, funny, wise, hard working, loving man that God has blessed me with.
....good friends, everyone of them, I am blessed.

....COFFEE...yes I know I sound like an addict...but really I can quit if I want to...I just don't want to! :)

....feather duvets and feather pillows

....the roof over my head

....that my husband likes to see me happy, and he tries to make things easier for me

....the things that I have learned and the things that I am learning

....the God who loves me, saved me, leads me.  Without whom I would be lost, without hope and afraid.  What's that hymn?  "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine, oh what a foretaste of Glory Divine. This is my story this is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long!"